i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
