every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
