I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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