I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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