Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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