We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize