I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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