did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize