Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Randomize
