I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
