White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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