I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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