i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize