I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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