Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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