and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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