pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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