I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Sext me about skeletons
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
