Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
