I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
