i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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