there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
