Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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