your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
