You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
