I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
