She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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