you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
