so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
