all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize