Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize