is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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