i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
