His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
