On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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