is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I need a burrito and a hug.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
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