I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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