I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
and she was petting her beer can
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
