Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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