how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She's the barista slut.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
