don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
People in love make me want to vomit
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
