No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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