therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
