the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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