I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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