I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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