Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
