I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize