Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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