Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
i've created a new STD.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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