Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Randomize
