he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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