mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
