i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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