I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
