if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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