I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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