Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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